Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Wiki Update

Hey all, I've updated Longy's Wikipedia page. Go check it out, then let me know what you think...or just change it so that it's better. Still, I'd appreciate feedback.
Thanks!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longy_School_of_Music

3 comments:

I'm thinking said...

Wow and wonderful!!! How do you attach pics. or videos onto the wiki. page?

Lea said...

hey mr. twinky,

I think that's a good idea to complete the Longy site! However, there are some stilistic things I was wondering about:

This is supposed to be an independent article, and maybe an independent person wouldn't use words like exciting... I also think that you should never talk in 1st person presenting a subject neutrally. This is just what I thought after the first reading; my own English sucks, so if you agree you can change it much better than I could.

Just write something that fits better to the first part of the article - what you wrote is really good, but it sounds more like an advertisement for the school than just information...

deep-fried twinkie said...

Haha, good point. I sometimes feel like a walking advertisement for Longy, what with everything that I'm involved in. I'll look over it and see how I can try and provide a more objective viewpoint.